Navigating Libido Changes During Perimenopause: A Personal Journey

During the perimenopause there can be a whole host of physical and emotional changes, and one aspect that isn't talked about enough is the resulting decrease in libido, which can come about as an upsetting symptom of the perimenopause. For too long, menopause has been associated with getting older, losing fertility and a fact of life that women have to put up with and get on with. However a woman’s sexuality and her right to feel desirable absolutely doesn’t have to stop during this time and beyond. With a bit of education and a willingness to explore new methods, libido does not have to be gone for good!

Understanding Libido Changes During Perimenopause

Hormonal Fluctuations: Oestrogen and progesterone levels decrease during perimenopause and this impacts your sexual drive, arousal, and physical comfort.
Physical Symptoms: Vaginal dryness can make intercourse very unpleasant, and decreased sensitivity can occur, affecting sexual enjoyment. Additionally interrupted sleep and hot flushes may make you not in the mood at all.
Emotional and Psychological Factors: Mood swings, body image concerns, and stress can also influence libido.

Why does this happen?

Biological Changes: As the body prepares for menopause, hormonal changes naturally lead to these symptoms. This is not something which should be dreaded, it is a normal part of moving through the next life stage.
Life Stage Factors: This period often coincides with stressful life events like aging, caregiving responsibilities, or children leaving home.

Addressing the changes:

Medical Interventions: Localised Oestrogen therapy, lubricants, and moisturizers can effectively alleviate physical discomfort from having a dry vagina. Systemic hormone therapies may also be considered.
Lifestyle Adjustments: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management can enhance overall well-being and these positive changes can lead to an increased libido as you feel better as a whole.
Open Communication: Discussing changes with a partner can lead to a deeper understanding and exploration of new ways to maintain intimacy.

Are Women talking about it?

There’s an increasing openness in discussing menopause-related issues, yet many women still feel hesitant to talk about changes in their libido. The subject remains somewhat taboo, but growing awareness and resources are encouraging more conversations.

Here are some common worries:

Fear of Losing Intimacy: Many women worry that changes in libido might strain their relationships or worry that they are somehow not maintaining a special connection with their partner.
Concerns About Ageing: Feeling less attractive or fearing a partner's reaction to the physical changes can be anxiety-inducing.
Health Concerns: Worries about hormone therapy or the side effects of other treatments can add to the stress.

Talking to our partners

Communication Gap: Often, there is a lack of communication with male partners about these changes, partly due to discomfort or fear of misunderstanding.
Educating Partners: It’s crucial for partners to understand these changes. Open dialogue can lead to mutual support and adaptation. Many women are just learning about changes in libido during menopause and there is no reason why men cannot learn about it too.

Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life

Exploration and Experimentation: This can be a time to explore new dimensions of sexuality - trying new activities, forms of intimacy, or even therapy.
Prioritising Intimacy: Setting aside time for intimacy and fostering a supportive environment can be key.
Seeking Professional Help: Consulting with a healthcare provider or therapist can provide valuable insights and solutions.

Navigating libido changes during perimenopause is a deeply personal experience, yet it’s also a shared journey among many women. Understanding these changes, openly discussing them, and exploring ways to adapt can pave the way for a fulfilling and active sex life. Embracing this phase with knowledge, support, and a sense of exploration can transform it into a period of growth and deepened intimacy.